he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
