Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
