I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I am available for nakedness
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
