I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
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