I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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