dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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