In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
