hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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