There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
no you cant smoke seaweed
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
