I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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