the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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