summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
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Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
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Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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