she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
