Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"