Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you didnt know i had herpes?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.