So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
USA USA USA
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!