a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
you told me you were going out for groceries!!