I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
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We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
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It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.