I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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