Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize