he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
