They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize