im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
