I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
