Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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