i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
