wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
