dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize