Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
