Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
