Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
