Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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