i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
please don't ironically join a cult
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