My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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