operation have a gay friend backfired
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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