Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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