Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
