they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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