He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
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Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
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