I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
