told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
So. Much. Porn.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
