Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
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