whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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