on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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