Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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