i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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