trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
