Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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