Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
