Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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