one might say we're banned from that church
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
