Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
