Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize