fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
