Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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