I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I accidentally had phone sex last night
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
