at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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