I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
This can only be settled by a dance off.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
