he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
