dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I believe in your delicious
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
