Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
