All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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