At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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