Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I smell stomach acid.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
