when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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