WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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