the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
