I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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