Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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