The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Umm I'm too high to move.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
