So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
don't judge my taste in strippers
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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