So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
