There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
